The sex with a lover is different from you have with your partner. First, because bodies are different and that conditions. With your partner you know where to touch and kiss to make it work and here you have to start again, although soon you get engaged.
And second, because when you have sex outside of marriage you are eliminating tiredness, domestic logistics, what we are going to have dinner, the tension of any moment a child wakes up … To the lover you get beautiful and stupendous. I went back to buying sexy lingerie, something I had not done for years. It’s just about having fun. And that is transmitted in bed.
There are no grudges because there are no arguments. You share only the easy thing.I cheated on my husband for two years and I never felt guilty. Many women experience their infidelity with anguish, but if you do it the best is to enjoy it. If I had been caused the slightest remorse of conscience would have stopped, mortification does not make sense. There are people who tell you that infidelity has revived their sex life in marriage, but I think it’s just to justify themselves. In my case it was not like that.It was not a wanted adventure, I did not pretend at any moment to feel wanted or to find something outside that I did not have inside. My sex life with my husband was satisfactory. It just happened because the other one I liked very much.
He was my workman and had fantasies about him. It all started after a Christmas dinner. He accompanied me to the bus stop and suggested that we have a drink. As he left the bar he kissed me. And I answered. For me it was a bomb because it excited me a lot, but I returned to my house as if nothing had happened. Two weeks later he told me he wanted to talk to me about what had happened and I thought he was going to ask me to forget it, but he proposed to see us again. And at that very moment, before we even went beyond the first kiss, we talked about what was going to happen as if we were about to sign a contract: Discretion was imposed on both sides, because he was also married. We wondered how we would act later at work, and even he came to take the question of how we would behave if at any point we were angry with each other.
I took many turns, it was already a conscious act, I knew that if I was with him, I would not have a reverse, I could not erase the story. And in the end I thought: ‘The same thing in a month, I get a car and I keep the desire.’ I could not erase the story. And in the end I thought: ‘The same thing in a month, I get a car and I keep the desire.’ I could not erase the story. And in the end I thought: ‘The same thing in a month, I get a car and I keep the desire.’So we stayed for lunch and then we went home.
As we walked together it was clear what was going to happen and yes, I passed a couple of times through the head whether I should go forward or not. But it excited me a lot and I did not think it would have more consequences, for me it was simply the continuation of something unfinished, that first kiss. After 14 years of marriage, he was the first man, apart from my husband, who was going to see me naked, but I did not feel uncomfortable or insecure at all. I felt very good because he always talked about me with admiration.
He was five years older than me, and he was delighted to be with me, he told me that he was very attracted to my body and that flattered me because I’m not bad, but neither is he the cannon woman.As we had known before, we could make jokes while we undressed, it was not like a first time with a stranger. Or as I imagine it would be, because I’ve never been with a stranger. Of course, I can not say that the first time I had the orgasm of my life. It was all very quiet. There were no strange situations, I felt comfortable and he was very affectionate. At the end he insisted on accompanying me to the subway while he showed me his neighborhood and even wanted to shake hands with me, but I let go.I married in love and convinced that marriage was forever, I never imagined that I would be unfaithful to my husband. But when you have been married for years and have had children, you are no longer the same person who swore eternal love.
My partner still liked me when I was with the other, but of course, after so long the passion is no longer the same. We had the sexual frequency of a typical couple with children: the same as a week you throw two powders then spend more than half a month without trying.At no time did I feel the morbid of the forbidden. We used to stay once every 15 days, always in his house, his wife lived in another city and was the easiest not to expose us.
So, He would cook me dinner and tell us what we had done since the last time. Ours was not purely sexual, there was even sometime we did not do it. It almost seemed a parallel marriage, more a friendship with good sex than a mere relationship of fiery lovers. We had a good time in bed, but neither did I look back and did not do things with him that I had not tried with my husband.
When we were together I always spoke of myself in the singular, as if I were single, I never mentioned my husband or my children because it seemed a disrespect to include them in this. However, he did talk about his family. I have always wanted him to continue with his marriage, I do not want him to leave anything for me and, in fact, when we send him some message, I remind him to erase them so that his wife does not see them.Meanwhile, in my house everything remained the same. I would come back at two in the morning and, without even taking a shower, I would put on my pajamas, get into bed, kiss my husband good night, and sleep with him. The next day I would get up, prepare the children to take them to school and go to work, as always.
In the two years that I was unfaithful to have a lover did not change anything of my life.It is wrong to cheat your partner, I know, because you fail what you promised as a responsible adult, but as he did not know and I did not hurt, it seems less serious. I do not think this story changed me at all, my husband never told me that he had noticed something new.
Camouflaged my appointments in the form of dinners with coworkers or movies with friends. My husband collaborated very little in the house and in that I also have a very calm conscience because when I was with my lover always did it after leaving my children bathed, eaten and bed, never neglected to go with him.Yes, I would do it again. Even more so after seeing how my marriage later failed. What’s more, if I ever have a partner again, I would like to continue to maintain my relationship with him.
After four years of watching, I’ve taken care of him. Nor would I tell my new partner that I was unfaithful in my marriage, and not because I’m embarrassed, but out of respect for my ex-husband.If I had seen my husband kissing with another, it would have seemed fatal to me, really. Actually I believe that infidelity is scary because it is a threat to our way of life and we reject it because it causes a lot of insecurity.
But if you were assured in writing that despite the infidelity your life as a couple was going to be the same, many more people would understand and accept it. Two years after I started this story, my husband told me that he wanted to get divorced because he did not like the way I was, after 16 years and two children! Shortly after I discovered some messages that had been sent with a woman in the last days of our marriage and in one of them he said that he loved her very much. I found it very bad. I would have preferred you to tell me the truth. But of course, who am I to ask for sincerity … At least I never said ‘
